Sew No More?

So here I am, content in accepting my path in life.

I am a writer!

Then I did the stupid thing of watching a video, a friend had posted in LinkedIn

I watched as the pattern maker drafted a pattern by hand and when I said by hand, I mean with out the hip curve and french curl. I fell in love.

Not with the pattern maker but with the process. What I loved about garment creation was the quiet moments. The drafting the pattern, cutting the fabric and basting it together, trying it on and making the adjustments, then taking it apart and making the corrections. There is something beautiful about creating a beautiful and/or technical garment by hand.

I guess what pulled me away from Fashion Design (which was really Apparel Design) was the fact that I didn't touch any fabric. I sat behind a computer and made spec sheets that would be sent to China for Chinese to touch the fabric. Do I sound bitter? Whatever.

I guess my business mind tainted my creative mind as I knew that to be successful in the apparel industry you have to be high end or low end. You would have to struggle when you are in the middle. What I know now and didn't know back then is struggle is good. Without the struggle, how can you overcome it and become better. All I had to do is start and keep at it. Learn the game and play it as though my life depended on it.

I won't be going back to Fashion, but...... I will be making clothes for myself. Hell, if I can do it and I got the fabric, why not?

I guess I haven't pushed in the last year is because as soon as I say anything about making clothes for myself, I am reminded that I'm supposed to make a skirt for my sister. The problem with this is, well, I don't want to f@#k up. The process becomes trying to live up to someone's expectations instead of my reveling in the process. And when will it stop? Yes, I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I guess I will make her that one skirt so that I can make more of the skirts I want for me. Selfish? Perhaps, but at this moment in time, I'm not rolling in dough so I've got to make my skills work for me.

In 2015, I'll be making one garment a month, even if I have to hand sew my own button holes. It's haute couture, baby. I'm actually looking forward to it.

2015 is going to be an amazing year!!

Sweet Agony

Hello, my name is Kimolisa and I am addicted to sugar.

In many a 12 step program, the first step is admitting you have a problem and boy, do I have a problem. I never noticed the extent of my addiction to sugar until I made the decision to cut back on the sugary foods and drinks I would consume on a daily basis for the New Year.

Easier Said Than Done
Instead of waiting for January 1 to start my reduction of sugary delights, I started three weeks earlier. The idea was not to eat any cookies, cakes and foods with the main ingredient being sugar, nor was I going to drink soda. I allowed sugar in my oatmeal and tea. What I didn't expect was how hard it would be.

Am I Back?

Earlier this year, I made the bold statement that I was back and I made the effort to blog. Unfortunately, life took a different route and I made some choices with what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life in terms of a career. All of which gave me no time for blogging and honestly, I was not planning to blog at all, but I couldn't not blog.

As I started my hustle and started to put my work out, I had a need to write my thoughts down, to work out ideas that have been turning around in my head. At first, I was viewing it as a possible revenue stream, but the idea of doing that just didn't sit well with me. There was so much I wanted to say but I didn't want to put it into the framework of business. You know, marketing, finding ways to monetize, all on top of my doing my hustle. That was just too much work.

So why am I blogging?
The same reason I write stories because it is who I am and I got something that wants to be shared with the world. For those of you who have been to this blog before, you would have noticed that I stripped it down to just the blog posts. I did this so the focus is on the words, plus it gives me less things to check, like who has visited the blog and what they are saying or even which blog post brought them here.

At the end of the day what brought you, the reader, here are my words, my thoughts and my ideas. And as the subtitle says, I plan to be unapologetic, I'm going to say it like I see it and I am not going to back track or try to appease. You either agree or disagree, but it's not my responsibility to influence the way you think. I'm just sharing.

What should you expect?
At least one blog post a week on some random topic. See, as simple as this site. And I guess this is the first blog post for this new blogging chapter. I'd like to thank you for reading this post and expect anything and everything from this blog. It will definitely change your perception of me but

This Is Kimolisa

Gotham Memories | Love Defined

She stood in the doorway to my room, braids falling over her shoulders, skin the colour of cafe au lait, dressed in college casual and an expression of distress on her face.

“Why doesn't he answer my calls?” was followed by a clear argument for the obvious. He just was not into her anymore.

He was her boyfriend from back home and she was my quad-mate (not my roommate, but the person who lived in the next room who I shared the bathroom and kitchen with). It was the weekend and he was to come up but there was an obvious change in plans.

I remember feeling frustrated by her constant whining about not getting in contact with him. In my best neutral tone of voice, I told her perhaps the relationship was over. I could tell she was not hearing the words coming out of my face, so I told her to try calling him again.

From tat moment, I disliked the notion of being so caught up with another person that I never let anyone get too close. I didn't want to be the teary-eyed shadow of myself, trying to hold on to something that had come to past. I had also seen something similar with a friend in Italy.

Perhaps, it's a woman thing where we need to understand. Yet part of me can see the male side of it where they know they don't want to be in a relations just because they are not into that person or that relationship.

She eventually came to terms with her single status and I'm sure he's just a fuzzy memory. It's sad though that their relationship's demise is such a vivid memory for me. That i is the first pillar upon which I rest my resistance to giving my heart freely. From that point, subconsciously, I built an argument against falling in love.

The lesson is that this is another person's love story. I should never use it to avoid experiencing my own hardship and pain. It's those hardships that carve one's character, making them unique and interesting. Some scars are sexy and tell interesting stories, even the scars of a broken heart. The great thing about a broken heart, it can always be put back together and most times, it's stronger that it was before.

I'm happy to say this memory is fading away and in a few years it will be gone, replaced with memories of loving and being loved.