Then I did the stupid thing of watching a video, a friend had posted in LinkedIn
I watched as the pattern maker drafted a pattern by hand and when I said by hand, I mean with out the hip curve and french curl. I fell in love.
Not with the pattern maker but with the process. What I loved about garment creation was the quiet moments. The drafting the pattern, cutting the fabric and basting it together, trying it on and making the adjustments, then taking it apart and making the corrections. There is something beautiful about creating a beautiful and/or technical garment by hand.
I guess what pulled me away from Fashion Design (which was really Apparel Design) was the fact that I didn't touch any fabric. I sat behind a computer and made spec sheets that would be sent to China for Chinese to touch the fabric. Do I sound bitter? Whatever.
I guess my business mind tainted my creative mind as I knew that to be successful in the apparel industry you have to be high end or low end. You would have to struggle when you are in the middle. What I know now and didn't know back then is struggle is good. Without the struggle, how can you overcome it and become better. All I had to do is start and keep at it. Learn the game and play it as though my life depended on it.
I won't be going back to Fashion, but...... I will be making clothes for myself. Hell, if I can do it and I got the fabric, why not?
I guess I haven't pushed in the last year is because as soon as I say anything about making clothes for myself, I am reminded that I'm supposed to make a skirt for my sister. The problem with this is, well, I don't want to f@#k up. The process becomes trying to live up to someone's expectations instead of my reveling in the process. And when will it stop? Yes, I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I guess I will make her that one skirt so that I can make more of the skirts I want for me. Selfish? Perhaps, but at this moment in time, I'm not rolling in dough so I've got to make my skills work for me.
In 2015, I'll be making one garment a month, even if I have to hand sew my own button holes. It's haute couture, baby. I'm actually looking forward to it.