*For all you Bob Marley Fans
So, OG is kind of in my life again, not for long though, I don't plan to have him here for much long. Partly because he is not available and partly because I feel I'm using him. It's just sometimes a person has a desire to be wanted and all that jazz.
Anyway the purpose of this post was about an article I just read on Essence.com about single, black women adopting and it got me to thinking. For one, what is going on? I'm not discrediting a woman's desire to adopt a child on her own, but what has happened to the concept of the nuclear family of mom, dad and child? It's almost like life saying you can't have everything, you can't have the job, the great home, friends, husband, family. Something has to be sacrificed. One comment to the article was this
It's honestly making me ask the question, is our careers getting in the way of finding someone? I just realized that I've been pushing away prospects with excuses related to work. Be it my day job or my side projects. I've always hid behind my work, but if I really want to find that special person, I'm going to have step way out of my comfort zone. I think there is no better time than now to do it, but I am going to do it on my terms, I want to be friends first, then lovers.
At this point, I'm not sure where OG fits in. I'm going to have to sit down with him and talk through a few things. If he was available, he would be an option for the future but I don't think it is my place to say "Hey, I like you alot and I think you like me and I would like to see if this thing we have could grow into something serious." Then again I'm going to be residing outside of my comfort zone so what do I have to lose. If anything this will freak him out and drive him away, and I won't have to dread becoming undone when he texts me out of the blue.
While emailing my friend in NYC, I realized that I've been making or perceiving this whole love thing as complicated. It is my intention not to complicate it, over analyse it and have fun. Return it to the simple girl meets boy, they like each other and live happily ever after.
That's it for now.
Anyway the purpose of this post was about an article I just read on Essence.com about single, black women adopting and it got me to thinking. For one, what is going on? I'm not discrediting a woman's desire to adopt a child on her own, but what has happened to the concept of the nuclear family of mom, dad and child? It's almost like life saying you can't have everything, you can't have the job, the great home, friends, husband, family. Something has to be sacrificed. One comment to the article was this
Yes i would absolutely consider adopting a child. I"m almost 35 and still single so i know if i'm still single by the time i'm 40yrs old i'll probably adopt.As well as this comment
I would most certainly adopt a baby. I am a single 33 year old professional female and I am like Tee (responder from above), if I do not have any children and/or I am not married by time I am 40, then I will definitely adopt.
It's honestly making me ask the question, is our careers getting in the way of finding someone? I just realized that I've been pushing away prospects with excuses related to work. Be it my day job or my side projects. I've always hid behind my work, but if I really want to find that special person, I'm going to have step way out of my comfort zone. I think there is no better time than now to do it, but I am going to do it on my terms, I want to be friends first, then lovers.
At this point, I'm not sure where OG fits in. I'm going to have to sit down with him and talk through a few things. If he was available, he would be an option for the future but I don't think it is my place to say "Hey, I like you alot and I think you like me and I would like to see if this thing we have could grow into something serious." Then again I'm going to be residing outside of my comfort zone so what do I have to lose. If anything this will freak him out and drive him away, and I won't have to dread becoming undone when he texts me out of the blue.
While emailing my friend in NYC, I realized that I've been making or perceiving this whole love thing as complicated. It is my intention not to complicate it, over analyse it and have fun. Return it to the simple girl meets boy, they like each other and live happily ever after.
That's it for now.
Well I'm blending two things I enjoy, crochet and hats and I'm going to make a few for my store. I printed the pattern for one and Sunday while watching telly I made this hat.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
When I was kid my mom would be crocheting these little doilies and I would ask her to teach me but she wouldn't. Then I went to High School and in Form 2, I learned how to crochet and I would sit in front of the television and crochet. I had gotten tired of the only making doilies so I upgraded to wool and started making bed spreads. I've even made one as a gift for a friend. Lately I haven't crocheted but it's just like what they say about riding a bike, you never forget.
I thought it would be a nice idea to make crochet hats to sell as they would be made right here in Antigua. The one above is just a prototype, my only problem is the wool feels a bit on the chunky side, perhaps I should source a smaller wool gauge or add more tension to the stitch. Also the brim appears to be quite big to me. I might try this pattern again with a few tweaks. One thing for sure, it would be great for cold weather. My head felt toasty in it. I think I'm going to retail at between US$15 - $20 which would cover the cost of material and labour (hey, I got to get paid too.)
Tell me what you think?
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
When I was kid my mom would be crocheting these little doilies and I would ask her to teach me but she wouldn't. Then I went to High School and in Form 2, I learned how to crochet and I would sit in front of the television and crochet. I had gotten tired of the only making doilies so I upgraded to wool and started making bed spreads. I've even made one as a gift for a friend. Lately I haven't crocheted but it's just like what they say about riding a bike, you never forget.
I thought it would be a nice idea to make crochet hats to sell as they would be made right here in Antigua. The one above is just a prototype, my only problem is the wool feels a bit on the chunky side, perhaps I should source a smaller wool gauge or add more tension to the stitch. Also the brim appears to be quite big to me. I might try this pattern again with a few tweaks. One thing for sure, it would be great for cold weather. My head felt toasty in it. I think I'm going to retail at between US$15 - $20 which would cover the cost of material and labour (hey, I got to get paid too.)
Tell me what you think?
In the last post, I mentioned crying over a movie and immediately reminded me of a movie that had me crying or as I like to say make my face leak. The movie is called Taking Chance. When I first saw the picture for it I wasn't interested but one Saturday afternoon while doing my laundry I watched it. I needed a lot of tissue and it wasn't a matter of a little leaking, afterwards I felt like I had a good cry. There were scenes in it where people were being, well, human. It hit a cord in me so many times, I get misty eyed thinking about it.
Basically the story is about an administrative military officer escorting the body of a young soldier who died in Iraq home. He traveled first by plane (with an overnight), then car. Then was present at the funeral. Through the journey he stuck to the code of conduct as he was suffering from guilt which he hid through the movie.
The respect everyone gave to the officer and the body of the soldier was awesome, and I don't mean Bill and Ted's awesome but looking out on the country side as far as the eye can see and being overwhelmed by the greatness of one's surroundings. Sometimes we get bogged down by the many things that makes life what it is today, but when you experience a person being kind, considerate and understanding just because they recognize themselves in you those are the moments you remember.
This reminds me of a blog on my list in my other blog, it called Operation Nice, definitely worth checking out.
Here's the trailer
I just finished watching The Young Victoria, a film based on Queen Victoria during her early days as the Queen of England. Now let me begin by saying I used to think she was an old fuddy duddy, very staid and very English. Actually the picture on the left is the image I had of her. But then I could not see the connection between her and Victoria and Albert Museum, which to me always has some cool exhibits.
Well this movie helped me understand the woman and truly appreciate her. Okay, Elizabeth made me kind of pity her, fear her, but Victoria, well in this movie, is someone I could relate to.
I also enjoyed the love story (I love love stories). To meet someone who loves you, really loves you that is so beautiful. I loved how they greeted each other in the morning, "Good morning, my wife." "Good morning, my husband."
I came close to crying, which means an okay watch. Below is the trailer.
Okay, I'm going to keep it real, I am not going to watch this video. The last time I saw a video about self mutilation, I was traumatized for a moment. Honest! I felt so cold I had to put on a sweater and then I had to control my breathing. I have become quite a wuss.
Anyway, here are some reaction videos:
I loved the guy in the hoodie lol.
The first one I watched
On a serious tip, I saw my first gross video about 1-2 years ago and it shook my world. When I say that I mean that I could not believe people would do that shyte and be okay with it. The more and more I watched the more I could not handle it. The one that left me cold was the last I watched and I am not going to watch any more. I want to remain in my nice, safe, warm world where people are not eating things that we know we are not suppose to eat and hurting themselves in far out ways. There is a reason certain things smell foul so you don't eat it, or why you experience excruciating pain when you do certain things to your body so don't do those things.
I've said my peace on the matter and I'm letting it go.
Anyway, here are some reaction videos:
I loved the guy in the hoodie lol.
The first one I watched
On a serious tip, I saw my first gross video about 1-2 years ago and it shook my world. When I say that I mean that I could not believe people would do that shyte and be okay with it. The more and more I watched the more I could not handle it. The one that left me cold was the last I watched and I am not going to watch any more. I want to remain in my nice, safe, warm world where people are not eating things that we know we are not suppose to eat and hurting themselves in far out ways. There is a reason certain things smell foul so you don't eat it, or why you experience excruciating pain when you do certain things to your body so don't do those things.
I've said my peace on the matter and I'm letting it go.
Over the last couple days I noticed, I've been spending a lot of time on the internet. Hours would melt away and I would have nothing physical to show. Even today I had planned to start off cleaning my apartment and ended up spending two hours on the internet. I was checking emails, checking blogs, etc, etc, etc...
I sewed a shirt last night and it was like I sewed for the first time. I have not worked on any artwork and I have three screens ready to be shot. My vision boards are falling and I feel like it's a metaphor for my life. It's as though I've given up on my dreams and falling into the old routine.
I'm not blaming blogging, in fact I love blogging but I need to put priority on the things that are part of my goals. It's time to be active again. I don't expect it to be easy sailing but I plan, no I endeavour to make my dreams a reality.
I'll be honest with you, there is a fear in me, it reminds me that it won't be easy. It tells me not to put myself out, that I will not making, and there are times when it doesn't even have a reason, it just says don't do it. So I am taking this time to face this fear, to develop new habits, to take steps towards being happier.
I ffffound this and I thought it was perfect for my life but I think I'm going to have to do some casting for new characters. The plot is still a work in progress.
Here is a quick update:
Fat Smash Diet - I smashed it, I did it without realizing it when I stir fried my tofu. What I am doing in it's place is eating better. I realized that my diet before was chuck full of carbs - cereal, sandwiches, pasta, more sandwiches. It lacked protein and fiber, so I've been eating rounder meals, there are actually vegetables in my fridge. I'm also eating more smaller meals, so when I burn off the food, I eat more so I don't feel hungry and I'm keeping my metabolism up. I'm keeping the exercise plan where I exercise 5 days, I think I need a little break now and then so 5 days are good. The Jackie Warner is pretty cool, I did lower body as I am pear shaped and it's the weight down there I want to lose. My upper body is not too bad and I still can't get the hang of push ups. So I'm taking this approach, I just have to stick to it for 21 days, then a month, then two months and grow till it's the rest of my life.
NG and Zen - I'm converting the meaning of NG from New Guy to No Good. I called on multiple occasions and it's either the phone ring out or it goes to voice mail. Nice piece of work, huh? At first I felt bad, but then I realize what the hell, I don't need him, people think I am fabulous as I am. His purpose was to drag my thoughts away from OG and it worked. So when it comes to him, forget about it. I've already deleted his number from my phone.
Yesterday, I called Zen. It's not a hook up situation, it was me having fun. The idea popped into my mind to ask him what colour underwear he was wearing and instead of censoring myself which would leave me arguing with myself about if I should or should not ask the question for days, I asked. I asked and he said none, he always amazes me. There are times he pops into my mind and I don't want to make him off limits because that would make me think of him more, so he's there. There is no bitterness on my side and none on his. He's the last guy I slept with and he probably slept with tons of women since, but he won't say. I've accepted that he is not the one. It sometimes gets hard believing that the one will come along, but I got to keep on believing.
The Store - I gave in my application and I am a candidate. I heard that there is another store that is bigger and cheaper in the same Quay but it's not on the main street. I was contemplating it and even my thoughts were going in that direction, but I won't put my focus on it. It is that store or nothing. In fact, I'm going to ask the Quay's manager if it is possible for me to see inside the space I want to get. I will get it.
Other Stuff - I reclaimed my screens on Saturday, taped them up on Sunday and coated them on Monday (I'm going to have to buy some emulsion and in a bigger amount). I sewed a shirt last night (it could have, I should put more tension in the neck band, maintain the tension in the arm bands and release the tension in the hem band), it's a work in progress. I also did a prototype of a match book pad that I found on Design Sponge. For me, personally, it's a great product because sometimes I get a great idea and I have nothing to write it down on, but the match book pad is small enough to put in my back pocket. I'm also thinking of making some with text, one of which is a fun drinks match book which has the recipes for fun drinks. Sometimes bartenders don't know how to make some drinks so you can pull it out and give them to make the drink for you. It would be small enough and will hold just a few drinks so you don't have to waste time trying to find the drink.
So that is my update.
Fat Smash Diet - I smashed it, I did it without realizing it when I stir fried my tofu. What I am doing in it's place is eating better. I realized that my diet before was chuck full of carbs - cereal, sandwiches, pasta, more sandwiches. It lacked protein and fiber, so I've been eating rounder meals, there are actually vegetables in my fridge. I'm also eating more smaller meals, so when I burn off the food, I eat more so I don't feel hungry and I'm keeping my metabolism up. I'm keeping the exercise plan where I exercise 5 days, I think I need a little break now and then so 5 days are good. The Jackie Warner is pretty cool, I did lower body as I am pear shaped and it's the weight down there I want to lose. My upper body is not too bad and I still can't get the hang of push ups. So I'm taking this approach, I just have to stick to it for 21 days, then a month, then two months and grow till it's the rest of my life.
NG and Zen - I'm converting the meaning of NG from New Guy to No Good. I called on multiple occasions and it's either the phone ring out or it goes to voice mail. Nice piece of work, huh? At first I felt bad, but then I realize what the hell, I don't need him, people think I am fabulous as I am. His purpose was to drag my thoughts away from OG and it worked. So when it comes to him, forget about it. I've already deleted his number from my phone.
Yesterday, I called Zen. It's not a hook up situation, it was me having fun. The idea popped into my mind to ask him what colour underwear he was wearing and instead of censoring myself which would leave me arguing with myself about if I should or should not ask the question for days, I asked. I asked and he said none, he always amazes me. There are times he pops into my mind and I don't want to make him off limits because that would make me think of him more, so he's there. There is no bitterness on my side and none on his. He's the last guy I slept with and he probably slept with tons of women since, but he won't say. I've accepted that he is not the one. It sometimes gets hard believing that the one will come along, but I got to keep on believing.
The Store - I gave in my application and I am a candidate. I heard that there is another store that is bigger and cheaper in the same Quay but it's not on the main street. I was contemplating it and even my thoughts were going in that direction, but I won't put my focus on it. It is that store or nothing. In fact, I'm going to ask the Quay's manager if it is possible for me to see inside the space I want to get. I will get it.
Other Stuff - I reclaimed my screens on Saturday, taped them up on Sunday and coated them on Monday (I'm going to have to buy some emulsion and in a bigger amount). I sewed a shirt last night (it could have, I should put more tension in the neck band, maintain the tension in the arm bands and release the tension in the hem band), it's a work in progress. I also did a prototype of a match book pad that I found on Design Sponge. For me, personally, it's a great product because sometimes I get a great idea and I have nothing to write it down on, but the match book pad is small enough to put in my back pocket. I'm also thinking of making some with text, one of which is a fun drinks match book which has the recipes for fun drinks. Sometimes bartenders don't know how to make some drinks so you can pull it out and give them to make the drink for you. It would be small enough and will hold just a few drinks so you don't have to waste time trying to find the drink.
So that is my update.
I have deprived myself of a good vampire movie, and I do mean good. I can't tell if this is going to be great but it looks interesting.
I just think the guy is hot. Loved him in 300, loved him in P.S. I love you. So far, it's him and Clive Owen.
I want to see this because of the raw emotions. I want to see Monique deliver and a movie that shows real people, real issues without giving it a hollywood/bling factor. Sometimes you don't need money or material possessions. Sometimes all you need is love.
Trekkie for life. I'm not hardcore, but I got a soft spot for the original crew of the Enterprise.
by Nannie Helen Burroughs
(Circa Early 1900’s)
1. The Negro Must Learn To Put First Things First. The First Things Are: Education; Development of Character Traits; A Trade and Home Ownership.
The Negro puts too much of his earning in clothes, in food, in show and in having what he calls “a good time.” The Dr. Kelly Miller said, ”The Negro buys what he WANTS and begs for what he needs.”
2. The Negro Must Stop Expecting God and White Folk To Do For Him What He Can Do For Himself.
It is the “Divine Plan” that the strong shall help the weak, but even God does not do for man what man can do for himself. The Negro will have to do exactly what Jesus told the man (in John 5:8) to do–Carry his own load–”Take up your bed and walk.”
3. The Negro Must Keep Himself, His Children And His Home Clean And Make The Surroundings In Which He Lives Comfortable and Attractive.
He must learn to “run his community up”–not down. We can segregate by law, we integrate only by living. Civilization is not a matter of race, it is a matter of standards. Believe it or not–some day, some race is going to outdo the Anglo-Saxon, completely. It can be the Negro race, if the Negro gets sense enough. Civilization goes up and down that way.
4. The Negro Must Learn To Dress More Appropriately For Work And For Leisure.
Knowing what to wear–how to wear it–when to wear it and where to wear it, are earmarks of common sense, culture and also an index to character.
5. The Negro Must Make His Religion An Everyday Practice And Not Just A Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Emotional Affair.
6. The Negro Must Highly Resolve To Wipe Out Mass Ignorance.
The leaders of the race must teach and inspire the masses to become eager and determined to improve mentally, morally and spiritually, and to meet the basic requirements of good citizenship.
We should initiate an intensive literacy campaign in America, as well as in Africa. Ignorance– satisfied ignorance –is a millstone about the neck of the race. It is democracy’s greatest burden.
Social integration is a relationship attained as a result of the cultivation of kindred social ideals, interests and standards.
It is a blending process that requires time, understanding and kindred purposes to achieve. Likes alone and not laws can do it.
7. The Negro Must Stop Charging His Failures Up To His “Color” And To White People’s Attitude.
The truth of the matter is that good service and conduct will make senseless race prejudice fade like mist before the rising sun.
God never intended that a man’s color shall be anything other than a badge of distinction . It is high time that all races were learning that fact. The Negro must first QUALIFY for whatever position he wants. Purpose, initiative, ingenuity and industry are the keys that all men use to get what they want. The Negro will have to do the same. He must make himself a workman who is too skilled not to be wanted, and too DEPENDABLE not to be on the job, according to promise or plan. He will never become a vital factor in industry until he learns to put into his work the vitalizing force of initiative, skill and dependability. He has gone “RIGHTS” mad and “DUTY” dumb.
8. The Negro Must Overcome His Bad Job Habits.
He must make a brand new reputation for himself in the world of labor. His bad job habits are absenteeism, funerals to attend, or a little business to look after. The Negro runs an off and on business. He also has a bad reputation for conduct on the job–such as petty quarreling with other help, incessant loud talking about nothing; loafing, carelessness, due to lack of job pride; insolence, gum chewing and–too often–liquor drinking. Just plain bad job habits!
9. He Must Improve His Conduct In Public Places.
Taken as a whole, he is entirely too loud and too ill-mannered.
There is much talk about wiping out racial segregation and also much talk about achieving integration.
Segregation is a physical arrangement by which people are separated in various services.
It is definitely up to the Negro to wipe out the apparent justification or excuse for segregation.
The only effective way to do it is to clean up and keep clean. By practice, cleanliness will become a habit and habit becomes character.
10. The Negro Must Learn How To Operate Business For People–Not For Negro People, Only.
To do business, he will have to remove all typical ”earmarks,” business principles; measure up to accepted standards and meet stimulating competition, graciously–in fact, he must learn to welcome competition.
11. The Average So-Called Educated Negro Will Have To Come Down Out Of The Air. He Is Too Inflated Over Nothing. He Needs An Experience Similar To The One That Ezekiel Had–(Ezekiel 3:14-19). And He Must Do What Ezekiel Did
Otherwise, through indifference, as to the plight of the masses, the Negro, who thinks that he has escaped, will lose his own soul. It will do all leaders good to read Hebrew 13:3, and the first Thirty-seven Chapters of Ezekiel.
A race transformation itself through its own leaders and its sensible ”common people.” A race rises on its own wings, or is held down by its own weight. True leaders are never “things apart from the people.” They are the masses. They simply got to the front ahead of them. Their only business at the front is to inspire to masses by hard work and noble example and challenge them to “Come on!” Dante stated a fact when he said, “Show the people the light and they will find the way!” * There must arise within the Negro race a leadership that is not out hunting bargains for itself. A noble example is found in the men and women of the Negro race, who, in the early days, laid down their lives for the people. Their invaluable contributions have not been appraised by the “latter-day leaders.” In many cases, their names would never be recorded, among the unsung heroes of the world, but for the fact that white friends have written them there. ”Lord, God of Hosts, Be with us yet.” * The Negro of today does not realize that, but, for these exhibits A’s, that certainly show the innate possibilities of members of their own race, white people would not have been moved to make such princely investments in lives and money, as they have made, for the establishment of schools and for the on-going of the race.
12. The Negro Must Stop Forgetting His Friends. ”Remember.”
Read Deuteronomy 24:18. Deuteronomy rings the big bell of gratitude. Why? Because an ingrate is an abomination in the sight of God. God is constantly telling us that “I the Lord thy God delivered you” –through human instrumentalities. * The American Negro has had and still has friends–in the North and in the South. These friends not only pray, speak, write, influence others, but make unbelievable, unpublished sacrifices and contributions for the advancement of the race–for their brothers in bonds.
The noblest thing that the Negro can do is to so live and labor that these benefactors will not have given in vain. The Negro must make his heart warm with gratitude, his lips sweet with thanks and his heart and mind resolute with purpose to justify the sacrifices and stand on his feet and go forward– “God is no respecter of persons. In every nation, he that feareth him and worketh righteousness is” sure to win out. Get to work! That’s the answer to everything that hurts us. We talk too much about nothing instead of redeeming the time by working.
R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R * In spite of race prejudice, America is brim full of opportunities. Go after them!
And, this was written in the early 1900 ’s! The more things change the more they stay the same…
This post is not about this particular song, but the chorus, I hate this part right here.
Let me give you the back story. A couple posts back I mentioned a new character in my life, NG who isn't really new as I'm sure I know he existed for more than a year. So the events of the last post happened and I found myself thinking about him and do I want a man in my life when I'm going after what I want in life. Then there was the aspect that, well, I don't have any way of contacting him if I did want to contact him. So, I was still figuring out if it is something I want to pursue when I met a guy who he knew who was looking for a job and who he sent. My dad vetted the guy and I just hired him because we needed someone. One of the first things the guy tells me is that NG wanted me to call him and he had the number to give me.
So I waited for later in the day and called. He was surprised that the guy gave me the message like that. He was saying that I can give him a call just to talk and if I'm okay with that. I said that it was up to him and he asked if we're not talking. Well I had some work to do and I got the impression he was in the middle of something, so we said our good byes.
Which brings me to the song, I Hate This Part Right Here. I don't know what to do, I don't know if it's me or the business he's interested in. I don't know if I want to open my heart to be hurt. I don't know if I want to walk down that old road of someone liking you and trying to figure out if it's you or your body or your sexuality. I'm afraid that this is an opportunity that I might lose like a couple before. I guess I was content in loving and having fun with myself and I haven't come to the realization that someone else might love the same things I love about myself. Deep I know.
But what is my next step? God, it's so much easier being on the outside looking in. I guess I can look at it as a test, how I deal with it will show if I've grown from nervous to secure. I guess it is a matter of stepping out on faith and communicate more. So should I call? When should I call? I guess I have to look at the situation as though I'm looking on on a friends situation. All I know is, I would rather a friend than a sexual partner and if that is his angle, a sexual partner, I'm out.
I'm going to stop or I swear I will end up rambling.
Let me give you the back story. A couple posts back I mentioned a new character in my life, NG who isn't really new as I'm sure I know he existed for more than a year. So the events of the last post happened and I found myself thinking about him and do I want a man in my life when I'm going after what I want in life. Then there was the aspect that, well, I don't have any way of contacting him if I did want to contact him. So, I was still figuring out if it is something I want to pursue when I met a guy who he knew who was looking for a job and who he sent. My dad vetted the guy and I just hired him because we needed someone. One of the first things the guy tells me is that NG wanted me to call him and he had the number to give me.
So I waited for later in the day and called. He was surprised that the guy gave me the message like that. He was saying that I can give him a call just to talk and if I'm okay with that. I said that it was up to him and he asked if we're not talking. Well I had some work to do and I got the impression he was in the middle of something, so we said our good byes.
Which brings me to the song, I Hate This Part Right Here. I don't know what to do, I don't know if it's me or the business he's interested in. I don't know if I want to open my heart to be hurt. I don't know if I want to walk down that old road of someone liking you and trying to figure out if it's you or your body or your sexuality. I'm afraid that this is an opportunity that I might lose like a couple before. I guess I was content in loving and having fun with myself and I haven't come to the realization that someone else might love the same things I love about myself. Deep I know.
But what is my next step? God, it's so much easier being on the outside looking in. I guess I can look at it as a test, how I deal with it will show if I've grown from nervous to secure. I guess it is a matter of stepping out on faith and communicate more. So should I call? When should I call? I guess I have to look at the situation as though I'm looking on on a friends situation. All I know is, I would rather a friend than a sexual partner and if that is his angle, a sexual partner, I'm out.
I'm going to stop or I swear I will end up rambling.
Normally, I avoid diets because they are a limited period weight loss plan and although you lose the weight, when you stop you gain it back and more. I chose the Smash Up Diet because it is part mental and is teaching a new way of eating. At the end of the diet, I would have learned a new way of eating and it is how I will be eating for the rest of my life. This is going to be hard because I've already thinking of stopping, (I think I should eat). This has been day one and so far I've eaten:Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit and yoghurt;
Heavy snack: Salad;
Lunch: Stir fry tofu, salad and vegetable;
Snack: Apple
Dinner: Stir fry tofu and vegetables with brown rice, my first attempt at tofu was a failure. I will prevail;
Desert: Mango;
It's so funny when you are one of these things you realize how you snack badly. A good example is this afternoon, I'm at work and I looked across at the snacks we sell and I remembered the chocolate covered digestive cookies and I would have eaten one without thinking. Sure one cookie is not bad but a couple a day would be bad. I don't think it's a matter of eating bad is my problem, it's not eating regularly and not eating enough vegetables is my problem. That is another reason I'm on this particular diet to teach myself to eat properly.
I'm also doing to DVDs while on the diet, according to the diet I should exercise 5 times a week, so I'm going to work out two days then rest one. I'm doing Jillian Michaels 30 day Shed and Workout: One-On-One Training with Jackie.
I'm going to mix it up, two days with Jillian and two days with Jackie. This another area where a lot of mental energy has to be used, the whole waking up and exercising and keeping up the momentum. My own concern is after this 90 day period (which is a long time) what am I going to do for exercise. I guess I have 90 days to work that out. Perhaps I'll take up dance be it going to dance class or just spending a good 30 minutes dancing in the dark at home with my mp3 player. I'll figure it out.So why am I doing it? To be honest I was a skinny kid and I'm not accustomed to having a protruding middle section. There is also the fact that my grandma on my mom's side is a the heavy side and my grandma on my dad's side died of diabetes, my dad also has diabetes. So my genes tend to excess weight and diabetes and I would like to avoid that. If it is a matter where I give up white bread from my daily intake and constant exercise I will do that. People might think my size is okay, I see it leading to more weight gain.
The other day I got my head all askew over this guy from the past. Let's call him OG, original guy. Out of the blue he called and because I still consider him as a friend, we spoke amicably. Over a week or so, we talked a couple times and I decided this week, that I'm not going to get back into that. I called him and I couldn't get the words out that I'm not available for him. I did it for Zen and I should be able to do it for OG. Well, he was doing something and said he will call me back, he hasn't and I'm not calling him.
Still I had to convince myself that I don't need him, he doesn't need me. So yesterday, while I was at work, a guy I knew came in and we chatted for over an hour. He was a guy I found interesting (aka attractive) but at one point I got rejected, so I stepped back. He had come in a few weeks back and I was surprised that he was friendly but I let it slide. Yesterday, he was flirting. NG, new guy, said something that took me aback, I was kidding around and he was feigning being affronted and said he thought we were friends.
Now don't worry, I'm not going to go all smitten over NG. I don't know his game and I've got a new angle on life and I don't want to be distracted by something that isn't real. What I am appreciative of is that he took my mind off of OG. By freeing up my mind I was able to get some rest and get some work done. If anything I'm sending out a thank you to NG.
Okay, I might be vague and meandering, so I apologize now.
Still I had to convince myself that I don't need him, he doesn't need me. So yesterday, while I was at work, a guy I knew came in and we chatted for over an hour. He was a guy I found interesting (aka attractive) but at one point I got rejected, so I stepped back. He had come in a few weeks back and I was surprised that he was friendly but I let it slide. Yesterday, he was flirting. NG, new guy, said something that took me aback, I was kidding around and he was feigning being affronted and said he thought we were friends.
Now don't worry, I'm not going to go all smitten over NG. I don't know his game and I've got a new angle on life and I don't want to be distracted by something that isn't real. What I am appreciative of is that he took my mind off of OG. By freeing up my mind I was able to get some rest and get some work done. If anything I'm sending out a thank you to NG.
Okay, I might be vague and meandering, so I apologize now.
So a couple post back, I posted some pics from izsmile.com (probably spelt that wrong) and I liked them so I went back to it and came across this website that had my jaw on the ground. It's fitting since the topic of my last post. As B. Scott would say, Take Me Higher Lord. The name of the site is Why the F*** Do You Have A Kid. Here is a sample.
I'm just sharing.
Where I 7-to-5, we sell snacks and the guy who brings them in every morning would sometimes bring his grandson by marriage aka step-grandson. Lord have mercy, I am so happy they will not be seeing this blog, but that child needs Jesus or a 2x4 to the back of his head. Calling him spoiled is an understatement and his obvious need for attention is cloying. In this post I consider him the other one because his annoying existence makes me want him far away than hey, what's your name.
So today, the guy came with this other kid and he is the opposite of the other one. He stays out of the way, he isn't buzzing all over the place. At one point he is entertaining himself with a tennis ball. So impressed with this kid, we played around and I even found out his name, the long version of Jerry. To the point he was giving me his full name.
This got me thinking that at the end of the day, it's the parents. It's the parents responsibility to nurture their kids to the point where they aren't afraid to try things but know that they will get support when it's desperately needed. There should be an understanding that yes we can talk about any topic under the sun, but the parent is the parent and the child is the child. A child should not have to look outside the home to make sure all their needs are met. By needs I mean food, clothing, shelter and love.
There are too many young people out there that need to be directed in the right way but they are too far gone on the wrong path. All we can do is look to our own kids and to make them the best so we can start putting this world right.
I'm just saying.
I get a newsletter from the Happy Guy and a couple days ago I got the following and it makes sense.
That's all folks.
Where I 7-to-5, we sell snacks and the guy who brings them in every morning would sometimes bring his grandson by marriage aka step-grandson. Lord have mercy, I am so happy they will not be seeing this blog, but that child needs Jesus or a 2x4 to the back of his head. Calling him spoiled is an understatement and his obvious need for attention is cloying. In this post I consider him the other one because his annoying existence makes me want him far away than hey, what's your name.
So today, the guy came with this other kid and he is the opposite of the other one. He stays out of the way, he isn't buzzing all over the place. At one point he is entertaining himself with a tennis ball. So impressed with this kid, we played around and I even found out his name, the long version of Jerry. To the point he was giving me his full name.
This got me thinking that at the end of the day, it's the parents. It's the parents responsibility to nurture their kids to the point where they aren't afraid to try things but know that they will get support when it's desperately needed. There should be an understanding that yes we can talk about any topic under the sun, but the parent is the parent and the child is the child. A child should not have to look outside the home to make sure all their needs are met. By needs I mean food, clothing, shelter and love.
There are too many young people out there that need to be directed in the right way but they are too far gone on the wrong path. All we can do is look to our own kids and to make them the best so we can start putting this world right.
I'm just saying.
I get a newsletter from the Happy Guy and a couple days ago I got the following and it makes sense.
DIRECTION
A father and his son, a young adult, were driving to the cottage. The father was worried, because his son had fallen into companionship with people who might lead him astray, and he was trying to help his son see that it was time for him to take his life a little more seriously.
“Aw, dad, I know you mean well, and I know I’m not really doing you proud, but I like to party. I’ll get on the right track some day. I don’t need to worry.”
They drove a little further, when suddenly the son said, “Hey dad, that was the turnoff for the cottage. You missed the turnoff.”
“I know,” said the father. “I think I’ll just keep driving this way for a while. I can always go back later to take the right road.”
A few more minutes – and a couple turnoffs – passed. The son began to think of the swimming he would miss if they arrived too late. “Dad, the farther you go down this road, the longer it will take to
get back.”
The father replied, “That’s true. The further you go down the wrong track, the harder it is to get back. So when were you thinking of turning your life around to head down the right track?”
Where do you want to go? What do you want out of life? Most importantly, what are you waiting for?
That's all folks.
So I started doing up my vision boards. For those who do not know what vision boards are, according to Christine Kane
So far, I've made one for love and career, they are below. The next ones I'm working on is self, travel and family/home.
Unfortunately, the love board came out bluer on the blog than what it looks like in real life.
The funny thing is the career board is working wonders. Well the store I've mentioned before is available, but it's $2,400.00 a month. I went to the office of the operators and the guy was actually happy that I was interested. So I spoke to my mom and she's willing to support me in this endeavour. As I don't have any products yet she has some things she can put in there until I get myself sorted. Normally, if I let my mind wander I would chicken out, but not this time, I'm keeping a tight rein on my emotions. The only emotion allowed is happiness.
A vision board (also called a Treasure Map or a Visual Explorer or Creativity Collage) is typically a poster board on which you paste or collage images that you’ve torn out from various magazines. It’s simple.
The idea behind this is that when you surround yourself with images of who you want to become, what you want to have, where you want to live, or where you want to vacation, your life changes to match those images and those desires.
So far, I've made one for love and career, they are below. The next ones I'm working on is self, travel and family/home.
Unfortunately, the love board came out bluer on the blog than what it looks like in real life.
The funny thing is the career board is working wonders. Well the store I've mentioned before is available, but it's $2,400.00 a month. I went to the office of the operators and the guy was actually happy that I was interested. So I spoke to my mom and she's willing to support me in this endeavour. As I don't have any products yet she has some things she can put in there until I get myself sorted. Normally, if I let my mind wander I would chicken out, but not this time, I'm keeping a tight rein on my emotions. The only emotion allowed is happiness.
I honestly didn't know what to post, so I went looking for pics. You know me they are random pics. I found these at izismile.com.
I've become a CSI Miami fan and I love how this guy would make a quip and walk away, I wish I could do it in real life. So you see why I find this cool and funny.
Babies. Cats. Zombie Reference. Funny.
Wheeee!!! Michele, should we try?
They would have to explain what this nothing is if I'm paying $50.00 on it. Is it taxable? I would hate to pay taxes on nothing.
I feel I'm now on the opposite side of the Facebook phenomena whereas I'm not checking it constantly and a couple days have passed and I don't feel a tightness in my chest. Okay, maybe, I don't get tightness in my chest.
For all those people who don't know how to put on a condom, please take notes.
I've become a CSI Miami fan and I love how this guy would make a quip and walk away, I wish I could do it in real life. So you see why I find this cool and funny.
Babies. Cats. Zombie Reference. Funny.
Wheeee!!! Michele, should we try?
They would have to explain what this nothing is if I'm paying $50.00 on it. Is it taxable? I would hate to pay taxes on nothing.
I feel I'm now on the opposite side of the Facebook phenomena whereas I'm not checking it constantly and a couple days have passed and I don't feel a tightness in my chest. Okay, maybe, I don't get tightness in my chest.
For all those people who don't know how to put on a condom, please take notes.
Okay, I'm supposed to be throwing away my pass but I had a beer and got tipsy, so I took a break. Before taking said break I found an old magazine page with movie reviews and it had a movie I was interested in seeing at the time.
The movie is called Penelope, the story is about a young heiress who is plagued by a family curse whereas the first daughter born after the curse was made would look like a pig. The curse continues to say that it would be broken only if she finds true love with "one of her own kind", so with her mother's vigorous insistence she interviews many suitors of the blue blood variety. Unfortunately, when she reveals herself, they locate the nearest exit. The one who left before signing the gag order went straight to the police but wasn't believed and is overheard by a reporter who publishes a story of him having a breakdown. Trying to force the reporter to retract the story he meets a reporter who was reporting on the story of Penelope's birth. Both trying to clear their name, they send in a blue blood down on his luck to take a picture of Penelope. Max starts to fall in love Penelope and although she reveals herself to him, he still cares for her. Now they don't live happily ever after....yet. That is all in the first half of the movie. For the second half, check out the movie.
Now, you know I only review movies when I really like them or hate them. I liked this one. It was in a fairy tale format but it was in the present. I like the aesthetics and the story line. It had a strong message and it had it's amusing and touching parts (no, I didn't cry). I would say yeah, watch it, just for something different. Check out the trailer below.
