Kimolisa Was Here

Black & White
Originally uploaded by feijeriemersma

A couple of days ago I saw a post on A Cup of Jo, Rules for my Onborn Son and I found it endearing. I definitely plan on having kids and it was even highlighted last night.

Last year I took a dance class and although I stopped because of timing issues I had planned on going to the dance competition the dance school was hosting. While the younger dancers were doing freestyle a little mite of a girl came and sat next to me to watch and I made extra space for her. Before long she was on my lap and in that moment I was sure I wanted to be a mom.

I'll be making this a weekly thing and here is my first rule for my unborn bambini.

1. Do what makes you happy, don't expect me or anyone else to define what makes you happy. Find out what it is and do it with all your heart. Remember, I will always support you. XOXO
   

Today, I feel like celebrating my sign, Aquarius. Below is a write up I found on MSN. The funny thing is some of descriptions are so spot on. I'll highlight those.

Your sign, dear Aquarius, is the eleventh of the zodiac and is considered to be the sign of perspective, the future, and new projects. The water bearer symbolizes intellectual development through communication and innovation. Of all signs, you are the most idealistic and humanitarian, with a strong sense of community and fraternity.

Your ruler Uranus, the planet of change and revolution, represents originality and a strong drive for adventure and freedom. Uranus is also called the rebel planet, and its energy is radical, sudden, and unpredictable.

Aquarius is the third of the three air signs, which means that your intellectuality is expressed as an intuitive grasp of universal principles, along with a concern for the universal well-being of humanity.

Aquarius rules the eleventh house of the chart, the sector associated with friends and groups, intellectual pleasures, socializing, and attitude toward society. However, it also describes personal hopes and wishes, as well as collective trends and humanitarian issues.

Yours is a fixed sign, which means that you resist manipulative behavior. You form your own opinion, however unusual it may be, and refuse to adapt. If someone dares to push, pull, or pressure you, they will definitely get to know your stubborn and eccentric side.

Your strengths definitely are that you are accepting and sympathetic to many points of view, and are equipped to understand each of them. This wide sphere of understanding causes you to be idiosyncratic. You are an unusually independent and wildly unique individual with a profound spiritual bent. Your intuition, loyalty, and resourcefulness make you a fun person to be around.

Naturally, you have some weaknesses, too, the most pronounced one being that you can be erratic in your actions. At times, you can be scattered and unrealistic, and confuse your own will with the greater will. Sometimes you can also be detached so that others see you as cold and inaccessible.

When I was younger, I was really into horoscopes but right now I'm on the fence as I wonder if those traits are learned. When we're born we are told our signs and the traits that are attached to that sign, would it be fair to say that unconsciously adopted those traits. That we live by them because it saves us from creating our own identity. Before I throw myself off the precipice of deep thought, let me end by saying I like my sign and people might perceive loyalty to be a strength, but I think it can truly be a strength when the individual learns to be loyal to themselves first.

This morning, the business across the way had started a controlled fire and I caught a glimpse of it (well you can't miss it). It brought me back to when I was a kid and the folks would set a fire in the yard to burn old papers and other junk that can burn. I guess from an early age I've been fascinated by fire and my thought drifted to fire pits. Just imagine a cool to cold evening on a comfy chair out in the open and a fire pit in front of you and the stars up above. Imagine curled up with that special person and talking about everything under the sun or just watching the fire burn. Added bonus marshmallows (one of my weak spots). Somehow a fire is hypnotic, like when you throw a piece of paper in and depending on the paper, it curls up and the edges turn brown and it is quickly disappears or plastic which if memory serves me right melts into a small piece.

In my dream house, I will build a fire pit and some days the family can pretend to be American Indians and dance around it or just tell stories. Here are a few that look cool to me.

Actually, I don't have anyone hating on me, but if anyone did I would be playing this on my internal Ipod.


I also came to this conclusion, if it doesn't cut my skin or leave a scar, I'm not going to sweat it. People are going to say shyte one way or another so I'm going to do what makes me happy. With that said, I'm going to throw this in, it's an oldie but goldie, Bonnie Raitt's Let's Give Them Something To Talk About.

I couldn't find the original video, so I'm using a fan clip for Gossip Girl.

My answers to the

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Doing something I love and makes me happy. A cup of tea or hot chocolate, my art project or my sewing and good jazz/dance music/hell good music in the back ground.

2. What is your greatest fear?
One word, worms. I go into an almost paralyzed state, always keeping an eye on the creature and removing myself from the vicinity. Then it take a good 15 to 20 minutes to cool down and stop looking to see if there are more worms around.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Not listening to myself. I believe I have all the answers to my problems but I don't take the time to really listen and act accordingly. I get caught up in everyone's opinion and advice that I don't pay attention to my own.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Trying to make others bend to their will, especially when it causes others grief. I say this in reference to the people I come into contact at work. They will annoy you, beg you and give you pleading eyes to credit material, and if you do it's like extracting a molar from a shark. (Think about it).

5. Which living person do you most admire?
I could say Nelson Mandela, because he took a lot of shyte and came out of prison smiling, a whole country celebrated. He came from the prison in his own country to leader of it. He even left that post with dignity and you got to love a guy with a great smile.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
My Mac and my Adobe Studio software. I will cut someone if they mess with my Mac. Take my dvd player, my printers (yes, I have 2), okay they can't take my sewing machine or my serger. If they took those I would give them a flesh wound. (Sometimes I could be violent).

7. What is your current state of mind?
I'm trying to get in control, I know where I have to be, but I kinda got disorientated.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
I have to join Apricot Tea on this one, Forgiveness. There are a few people out there that I just can't forgive.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
Basically, for self preservation or to protect someone's feelings.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? Irregular waist and scar along my spine thanks to Scoliosis.

11. Which living person do you most despise?
There are people out there, I dislike, but despise.... Honestly, and you can ask any of my siblings, you don't want to have me despise someone. Let's just say I have a talent for making people feel really, really small.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Genuineness. No bs, I want to get to know the divine creature that they are.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Same as 12.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Shit", "Fuck", "Jesus and Mary", "He/She/They need Jesus" and "Snap, the magic pony!" (From potty mouth to religious zealot to ...)

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I'm still figuring out if I loved that person, or if I convinced myself that it was love.

16. When and where were you happiest?
I'm still waiting, but my time in Cuba is a contender.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Although I can dance I wish I could do it on a professional level. But I'm very much happy with what I have as a talent.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would change my belief in myself.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Still waiting.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Myself and there are a few things I would have done diferently.

21. Where would you most like to live?
Honestly, Brooklyn, close to the city but not enveloped in the madness. A few of my favourite places are in Brooklyn.

22. What is your most treasured possession?
Hello!! Weren't you paying attention, my Mac.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Crying over a man who can and will never love you and believing you need him to "complete you". Rubbish indeed.

24. What is your favorite occupation?
Fashion Design student, there is a lot of room to be creative and be surrounded by creative people.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? Honestly don't know, I'll have to ask my siblings since they know me the most.

26. What do you most value in your friends? The ability to have a good time, be it being engaged in good conversation or hanging out and having a good time, be it clubbing or hanging out.

27. Who are your favorite writers? Zane, James Patterson, William Gibson, Jane Austen.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? I'll have to get back to you on that, but I have a warm spot for Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice. I don't read over many books and I think I've read Pride and Prejudice three times.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? When I reach the point where I feel a sense of accomplishment, I'll let you know

30. Who are your heroes in real life? I'll have to back you you on that.

31. What are your favorite names? Well, there are the names I plan to call my kids when I have them, Sadie, Xaviar, Marcus.

32. What is it that you most dislike? I dislike people who try to manipulate you to do things just because they want it.

33. What is your greatest regret? Not living a fuller life, not going beyond my limits and moving back to Antigua.

34. How would you like to die? In my sleep and if I was murdered something quick.

35. What is your motto? I am the only one responsible for my happiness.

It's hump day again and this time around I bring you music. Now the first song always catch me in the wrong time, like while I'm driving or when I'm at work, so I don't get to dance to it. If I was at a club and the DJ played this song, I would jump on the dance floor, dance partner or not. The second one, I had to search for it because it is the blending of two songs I love, Apologize and Sweet Dreams. DJ Woody on VYBZ FM down here used to play this late last year going into early this year. So enjoy!!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

These always make me laugh



And I've done this to my mom.

Happy Birthday Mum!!!!

I like this side of him.

At long last I have visited the weheartit website and I found these goodies. This time it's words, I know a picture says a thousand words, but sometimes you don't need all those words.

When I have kids, I'm going to put this on their door so they see it everyday.




Also crying helps to release unwanted tension.


Can someone answer this question for me.


At some point in our lives,

What I love about this is I am a fan of both singers.

Just funny.

On Tuesday, on the a BBC, they had a report on a German magazine that from next year will be using models that look like normal women. The German magazine being Brigitte. This is coming on the heels of the US magazine, Glamour feature of a "plus size" model in the nude.

According to Glamour, they got a lot of positive feedback. As a lot of people know this has been floating around in the media and had all but died away with the emergence of the fashion weeks in the major Fashion Capitals. But really, what do people prefer in fashion magazines? Women who look like this:


Or this:


Unfortunately, I'm gifted with the ability of seeing both sides of this issue. This makes a very indecisive person.

Side I
As a lot of people know models have always been thin and it's just the way things have been. Also the fashion world is all about fantasy, look at some of the clothes they have featured. $1,000.00 for a pair of shades. There is also the fact that the models are more like hangers for the clothing and it is easier to see and focus on the details of the garments if the model is skinny. Then there is the flattening effect of photographs, an ultra skinny person looks like what a normal person looks like in real life.

Side II
Truth be told models of the past had some meat on their bones. In fact, the women who were crowned Supermodels were not sickenly skinny. Why is it that as we get older, the women we have as examples of beauty are unrealistic. The examples of women in fairy tales are so much more proportioned. Disney knew that. It is only natural that we women have curves, so why are we encouraged to lose them. Isn't it about time we threw away terms like fat and skinny and replace them with the term healthy. That means you could be a size 2 and be healthy or a size 16 and be healthy. Strangely enough, it is only us, women, who are doing this to ourselves. Men don't care if you are a size 2 and you would really have to question the relationship if your boyfriend leaves you if you gained 5lbs. I was glad when magazines used actresses and singers because they were a better representation of regular women.

Anyway those are my thoughts on the whole issue and I want to know from you, who would you rather see in a fashion spread?

This lady:


or this lady:

Okay, I didn't eat properly today so I'm pretty logey today so I'm taking a Hump Day Holiday from my usual after work work. And to commemorate this day I will present you with trailers that I want to see when they come out. Yeah!!!


I don't know why but I have a thing for Bruce Willis.


It may be cheesy, but I love cheese. I especially like it when you grill it on bread in the broiler at the bottom of the stove and it burns on the top. MMMm mmm good. Good times. Ah to be a kid again.


Love, New York, what more can I say. Honestly speaking, it maybe a movie filled with stars and the plot might be hard to follow. Does "Maybe He's Not Into You" ring any bells.


Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Beautiful backdrops at Christmas time. I will be there.


I love the last part of this trailer. Only reason it's here.


I think this may be endearing. Plus it shows the dynamics of a father and child relationship. One part that hit a core with me in this trailer is when DeNiro said that the kids told their mom everything and asked why couldn't they do that with him. For me and my dad, I think it is a matter that he has a way of devaluing some of the things I say. I'm not being self-centered or anything, but I think I am an intelligent human being and although 100% of the things I say may not be valid, I think I'm rocking a good 75%. Anyway, it will take a while before I could have the caliber of conversation I have with my mom with my dad.

I drifted at the end, and I'm going to stop now as I have a very shitty internet connecting so it takes a while for me to watch the new trailers and decide if their worthy. Also I've putting off brainstorming on a new direction my life would be heading. Drifting again, I should make a label called drift wood.

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything goes wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles"
- Audrey Hepburn

I stole this from
Pinknic's Planet, it's a pretty cool blog, great place for laughs.

(pic: Oliver Walcot Library)

I saw this on a news feed on FaceBook, posted by an old pen pal, Sarah and I had to post it.


I am a supporter of Gay Marriage because in some cases those unions are truly built on love and to deny someone the right to basic things that a straight couple has the right to is so sad. I mean to know that your husband is in the Intensive Care Unit hanging on for dear life and you can't even be there to hold his hand. Okay, if you see a gay couple you automatically think of the sexual aspect, but really do we think of straight people the same way? Do we look at a random man and woman and imagine them having sex?

Anyway, I'm coming off of my soap box.

As I was surfing blogs, I discovered Audrey Kawasaki, an artist. What I liked in her work was the blend of the manga style and Art Nouveau on wood. I am a fan of Manga and although I don't particularly like the composition of Art Nouveau, I like the defined outlines and the colour palettes. The fact that she does it on sheets of wood and shows the wood grain through the artwork, I love it. Here is her bio form her website:

The themes in Audrey Kawasaki's work are contradictions within themselves. Her work is both innocent and erotic. Each subject is attractive yet disturbing. Audrey's precise technical style is at once influenced by both manga comics and Art Nouveau. Her sharp graphic imagery is combined with the natural grain of the wood panels she paints on, bringing an unexpected warmth to enigmatic subject matter.

The figures she paints are seductive and contain an air of melancholy. They exist in their own sensually esoteric realm, yet at the same time present a sense of accessibility that draws the observer to them. These mysterious young women captivate with the direct stare of their bedroom eyes.

2 years Pratt Institute, Brooklyn - Fine Arts Painting

And here are some of her work:

Lately, I've been doing a lot of self reflection and tapping into the things I genuinely like and enjoy. One of those things are lofts, ever since they became popular in the 90's, I've been drawn to them. Somehow, I'm going to incorporate a loft aesthetic to my house when I build it. I like the openness of it and the coziness of it. I've discovered the more space you have, the more you have to clean. So below are some pics of loft ideas.

"I'm not intimidated by anyone. Everyone is made with two arms, two legs, a stomach and a head. Just think about that..
"—Josephine Baker