Kimolisa Was Here

I'm a very sad Adele fan, I love her music and her voice but I don't own a single album. That will be rectified sooner than later. What I love about her is that she gives you a powerful performance and at the end she becomes humble and gracious. Can we say classy much. That is what we need in entertainment and life in general - class. Here is her 2012 Grammy performance Another performance 60 minutes interview Full Royal Albert Hall Concert I would love to see here live and her pianist is cute, lol.

I had to share these as they spoke to me when I needed to hear.



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I can so relate to this talk.

About The Talk

In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

The Talk

I love this song

LMAO!!! The last part sold it for me. Oooooh, an arthouse movie. Give me my fancy imported snacks and my small theatre space and let me snuggle into this movie. This looks cute, and I'm not just talking about the guys, yum This looks interesting I'm a Toni Collete fan so I'm on board

This interesting from a woman's perspective.

This guy is so awesome about being a meme.

This is why TNT is one of my favourite cable channels.

I'm now torn between this run or this run. Then I should train before I do either.

How awesome is this and talk about patience.

This is awesome.

There are three cakes I love to distraction, Velvet Cake, Carrot Cake and Coconut Cake. Excuse me, I need a moment. LOL

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This will most likely be me just rambling some thoughts into the web, so feel free to look away. Are you looking away? Okay, great.


Why did I choose the word projection and what meaning am I putting to it? Well, there are a lot of definitions according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary. A lot of them are the literal/scientific definitions. For me, I'm going on a psychological bend and I'm using myself as an example. God only knows where I'm going from here, lol.

I would say from the beginning of the year to now I've been making changes, I have a new job, a new work environment, a new outlook and a genuine desire of being the best version of me. Kimolisa version 1.3. One of the things I had done was open myself up and drop things. Okay that sounds new age-y and it was quite simple compared to what it sounds like.

One day, I decided to exist in the moment. I stopped thinking of the past, I didn't think of what I had to do and I truly observed the world around me. I started while driving into town and I saw more than I normally would see on a typical drive into town. In doing this, I rediscovered wonder and that thing kids go through when they are embarking on new things. You can say it's a sense of discovery and I truly appreciated the beauty of the world around me.

Strangely, from that appreciation, I had a sense of gratitude that went to peace and love. Told you it was sounding new age-y. Then it gets weirder (why does weird look weird to me?), by stripping away all the thinking, the thinking of the past, the thinking of the future and operating in the now, I was lighter, more carefree, alive even. I owned each moment and appreciated it, existed in it.

In town, I had to go to the bank and out of the blue someone started a conversation. It wasn't awkward and it was like food for the soul. Somehow we connected on a plane above the normal and I guess that came from me not making assumptions of the person's intentions. I saw them as another human being who wanted to share information.

Then later on in the day, in another bank, an older woman started a conversation with me. Another conversation that held a lesson and encouragement. I know when these people approached me, my energy was different. It was charged and alive and somehow it pulled the people in. In that state of mind, I was not trying to hold up the mask of who I am suppose to be, I just was and I didn't really care what people thought. I was enjoying being alive. I could sense people wanting to enter my gravity, people would ask me questions when they would not normally.

One thing was that "it" factor that some people have. That thing that makes people popular or leaders or the person people turn to. Could it simply be the act of owning one's life, loving one's life and doing what they want? Is it when the person stops looking outside and taps into their inner light, listens to their inner guide and truly becomes who they ought to be? Somehow when you get to that place, you are filled with a crazy mix of happiness, peace and excitement. Perhaps, just perhaps that is what people are drawn to, excitement.

I mean, why do we go to the movies to watch blockbusters if not for the excitement? That controlled adrenaline high, that is so safe that by the time you reach home it's already gone. It's strange how we have to look for the simple, complex excitement from outside instead of the one from inside. Simple because all we do is go to the cinema, but complex because we can't fathom how to find it without going to the cinema.

It's safer this way, isn't it? We don't have to disturb the status quo. We don't have to take the risks. We don't have to face any realities, such as our plans may fail. Instead we collect awesome imagery of others doing awesome things and quotes by great people and basically do shyte. Because it's safe, because we can't imagine doing anything without a safety net. We live in a technological age where information is at our finger tips, but we still stay behind the line of mediocrity.

I have gone off topic, lol. hmmmm projection. lol. okay, you see that Kimolisa who had people chatting her up, she fricking scares me. You see, she is awesome, she would jump on a stage and dance her ass off, she would not think twice about doing something crazy fun, but.... wait for it, there is one big ass but. She draws people in like a fricking lighthouse, she shines so bright that I need those shades they use to view a solar eclipse. I don't hate her, it's just I can't handle all the people who are attracted to her. I automatically, question the people's intention, especially the men.


Due to unsavory shyte happening in my past, I am wary of the attention of men, so I lock that Kimolisa down. I don't let her see the light of day. Why get unnecessary attention? Why put myself in that position? The sad thing is when she gets lockdown in solitary, I don't grow and instead of projecting anything out, I am an empty canvas for others to project their beliefs on. I don't let people know what I am about so they make up a story about me.
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Here is something people don't know about me, I hate that shyte. Hate it to high heaven. I hate when people say that I am a certain way or that is not what I'm about. It makes me stop and do a mental "What the fcuk". Wait, when did this happen? How do you know so much about me and I'm still figuring me out? Wait a minute here, while I was sleeping this is the best you can come up with? Aww hell nah!!! I think it's time to correct that shyte.


Here is the thing, in my purest form I love makeup, I have punk tendencies, I am growing to love the pin up girl/40's/50's esthetic, I have a strong urge to climb and I like working out. I like to experiment and I have a strong desire of becoming a better person. For the first time in my life I am drawing on my canvas with permanent markers, that shyte ain't going nowhere. I want people to see me, the me that liked rock and alternative music, who has almost mastered the split, that wants to do a zombie walk. I'm tired of doing what is right, I want to do what is right for me.

Yeah people will say shyte, but people are still saying shyte anyway. As Bonnie Raitt sang, "Let's give them something to talk about."



I love the people who have coloured my life, they have all impacted my life in one way or another. Where I feel like I've let them down is where I haven't been real, you know how they say in the Real World, when people start being real. a couple weeks back I had retweeted this

Certain people from my past might say "You've changed". My reply is "No... You never knew me!"

Yes people, I am on the Twitter, check me here and show some love (aka follow me lol). But people, don't feel no way, because I didn't know me either. Let's just say, right now I'm getting to know me, this could be me trying karaoke, me climbing hills and mountains, me starting a business. Just accept that the me you knew is being upgraded and I promise you it won't be like that FaceBook bullshyte. That shyte is a real shame, lol.

So tell me people, do you think people are really seeing you, really knowing you or have they created their own story about who you are as a person? Thoughts are welcome and remember.... By your powers combined, I still not am Captain Planet!

About The Talk

Adam Savage walks through two spectacular examples of profound scientific discoveries that came from simple, creative methods anyone could have followed -- Eratosthenes' calculation of the Earth's circumference around 200 BC and Hippolyte Fizeau's measurement of the speed of light in 1849. (Launching a series on Inventions that Shaped History)

The Talk

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Only watching this for the dancing, that's all I got to say

My sis had this on and I went looking for it. Yes, I'm late to the game since it came out in 2009, but better late than never.


Love, love this song


This a great dance song. I can see myself dancing in a crowded club to this.

First, blame my sister for this post. LOL. Last Saturday, she was watching a burlesque show clip on line and I stopped to watch it.  To be honest, I liked the dancer. She exuded this confidence and an interesting type of sexuality that I have never come across. It wasn't raw and crude a la porn nor was it seductive and coy a la romance novels nor was it innocent and curious. I would say it was something like "Here I am, I love my body, I know how to use it to please you but to enjoy myself."

This also got me to thinking about my own thoughts on Burlesque. Let me get it out of the way, I do love the movie, Burlesque with Christina Aguilera, but that and other movies show it as a background piece. It doesn't show it in its fullness. From my understanding, I thought it was a fancy striptease show, something taboo, not dirty but not what good Christian people would partake in.

I would see pics of Josephine Baker and think why did they make a big deal about her? She's wearing bananas as a skirt for God's sake. After watching some of these clips, I realize it's more of a performance and the women exude a certain power over their sexuality that can never be equal to a mere modern stripper. For a brief history, click here



Perle Noire


Immodesty Blaize


Dita Von Teese




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I haven't come anywhere close to understanding burlesque, but I can say this

1. These women show that women come in all shapes and sizes;
2. It is your intent that shows through, if you feel sexy and are sexy, you will be sexy;
3. Own your sexuality, don't get your definitions from male centered examples of sexuality, create your own and live it;
4. Sexuality is not a bad word;
5. Don't accept one thing and accept that it speaks for everything. When you think striptease, don't automatically think pole and dark clubs with men drooling.

This is another example of how life can be interesting, it's just for us to get over ourselves and enjoy it.

This is a short intro but it is great way to see if one is willing to go to the edge of thought.

About The Talk

In the first of a new TED-Ed series designed to catalyze curiosity, TED Curator Chris Anderson shares his boyhood obsession with quirky questions that seem to have no answers. (Introducing the series "Questions no one knows the answers to")

The Talk

I came across Oprah's Lifeclass through the newsletters I would get from OWN - Oprah Winfrey Network. It seemed to be what I needed at this point in my life (God, I sound like them). To be honest, just typing this makes me feel very vulnerable. It's as though I'm showing the inner me and the journey I have to take and I still have to learn how to be genuine with others.


Lately, I've been shifting the way I view myself and I realize that I've been living my life through other people's eyes. Does that even make sense? Now I look at it, no it doesn't and still I was doing it. I didn't like myself, much less love myself, and I was just living for everyone else. Living my life because others wanted me to be in this place or that place. If I wasn't doing what they wanted, I would shift so that I was doing what they wanted. Oh, so sad. I can't even remember when I gave my life away.

So what happens when you give it away? You pretty much give up, you don't live the life you want, you live the life others want for you. You don't discover the things you love, and do the things you love. You are simply living but not living. You can't even imagine being happy and doing the things that truly put you at peace and make you genuinely happy.

I don't have the answers, I just know that I have to move forward. When I say forward I mean to look forward, to stop looking in the past. Looking at the good and bad in the past. The past has been written and cast in stone and no matter how many times I go back, I can't change it.

Every now and then, I would look back and think that I should have gotten that first apartment I saw in Italy and lived on my own or I should have stayed in NYC. The hard one is I should have made a plan when I went into FIT, a clear and concise plan. I should have done some soul searching and truly understood what kind of career and life I wanted. The crazy thing is I tell myself that I should have done those things back then, but I don't do them now.


From the first episode of Oprah's Lifeclass, I gathered some tools to move forward. Honestly, there was a part that had my eyes leaking water, but here are some things I noted:

• PAIN - Pay Attention Inward Now. It is so easy to blame everything outside of myself or needing something outside to make me feel better, but it is truly coming to terms with the thing that is bringing me down and recognizing that it is not the stimulant that is making me feel bad, but the way I react to it. Also understanding why I react to it in that way. A lot of what I do is programmed, I was taught that and somehow I believed it was my own invention. I think when you recognize that something is not working for you and that it's not part of you or you don't want it to be part of you moving forward, you can easily put it away. Sometimes, the pain comes from when you don't live according to what you really want, what your soul wants. In my case, it was that apartment in Italy.
• Putting yourself first. I'm hearing this over and over and it was one of those epiphanies that are like small waves lapping at the shore instead of a tsunami. It isn't being selfish, it's about making sure you are at your best so you can help others. As a lady in the bank put it, God says to do onto others as you would do onto you, but if you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? In my case, when I have given all of me to others, how can I survive and continue to give. I like what Iyanla Vanzant said - if you give too much of yourself to others, you are making them into a thief. Which is so true and you in turn end up resenting them, but in their minds they are only taking what you are giving. It's time for me to become whole for the first time in a long time.
• Living your story. I know my story, the story I've been telling myself over and over, but that is an old story. I am not the same person I was back then, in fact I don't want to remain the person I am right now. I want a new story, but this time around I'm the author. For a long time, I've wanted to write a story that would be my story, but I always put everyone before me and didn't know what that story would be about. Once again, I have to look within and discover what I want my story should be. Now it makes me wonder what I have been doing, because I've been reading this story like it was my favourite book and truth be told. I hate this story.
• Have a vision. It's one thing to not look back, or to retell my story, but if I'm not doing anything, I will end up looking back and retelling my story. This is the scary and exciting part. Scary and exciting because I know if I just decide and run recklessly into what I aim for in life, I will get it. I have that kind of power, as long as I make up my mind and aim for something that is crystal clear, I can get it.  For the first time in a long time, I have the time and energy to get what I want and I will take the time to decide what is right for me, what I want and get it.

I had read an article last week and it was about making resolutions. It said all the stuff about making them, but instead of making it goal focused and precise, have a theme. Make the year have a theme.



The crazy thing about life is no one has the answers, they may have tools that can get you to the answer that is in you already. There is no universal answer, just find your own.