Kimolisa Was Here

Saturday morning, I woke up with this weird mucus-y feeling and figured it was a temporary thing. I got up, went for my run, came back and spent most of the day in bed. I progressively got worse. I dragged myself off to work for my 3-11 shift and hoped that it would pass.

I got through the shift, went home and went to bed. I stuck around in bed for most of Sunday, just getting out to get ready and go to work for another 3-11 shift. Thankfully, the achy feeling had passed and overnight I got over the fever-like thing.

 So here's the deal, I've been working at this relatively new job for over three months and had never gotten sick. I've gone to work, did my thing, went home, simple. So what changed? Well for one there is a bug going around and we are in a closed up air conditioned environment. But I'm in shape, I'm eating relatively well, so I should have been able to kick the germs to the curb.

Well then maybe because I'm in transition, I'm starting new project, I'm pushing myself more. That is one component, but I think the straw that broke the camel's back is my upgrade in my position at work. In being put into a higher pay bracket, I have to train new staff in my department. I was all set to do it,

1. I became very judgmental.  Okay, she's not good on the uptake and lacks basic comprehension skills and shows no real desire to do better in the job she was given. Okay, she has no work ethos at all, but should I really judge her. Then again I am in a work setting, where you are required to produce, to be efficient. Is it my responsibility to turn her into the ideal employee when she doesn't even try to show any potential. It's like trying to grow an oak tree from a corn kernel, it will take a lot of work and magic and time, all of which I really don't have. 
2. I stopped being mindful and reverted back to living by habit. This is such a lesson on how easy it is to backslide into being your former self instead of becoming your better self. Another lesson is that life is all about practice, you don't really reach a point where you can not do better, there will be times when you are ahead on the path and then other times you slip back a couple paces.
3. I need to slow down, I can't keep going at full speed. I need moments to get clear on my master plan. To re-focus and remember where I'm going not where people want me to be. That is why taking part in this new project is so important because it takes me away from other people's energy and keeps me focused on what I have to do.
4. Did I really want this position? So here is how it was: Because two people were released from my department, the company asked for volunteers to work extra hours. I didn't because I didn't think I would want to be too much into the company. I wanted wiggle room. But in the back of my head I was thinking, well that would mean extra money, extra money would be nice. I had money thoughts in my head, so what happens? An opportunity comes up where I can make extra money and have more responsibility. I think people would say I manifested it. The thing is could I have said, thank you but no thank you. Why did I say yes? By stepping into that position I stepped out of myself and took on the role of a senior in my department. Don't worry, I didn't plan on being a tyrant, my plan was to be humble and address the needs of my department. I guess the answer to the question is no, I didn't want this position, I wanted to be a small cog and do what I have to do and go home and do what I want to do.
5. I forgot the mantra I had adopted - We were not meant to be comfortable. I believe that for one to truly grow and evolve you have to meet some resistance, some conflict. A pearl is created by a small grain of sand that irritated an oyster. Once again, a lesson. How do I make this person understand the job? I already see the problem in the question I just asked. How can I get an individual to take their job seriously and become a valuable employee to my company? I'm going to Google that.
6. I'm taking my job home. This is the slap in the face, the cold water while I'm sleeping. This job was not suppose to follow me home. When I clock out, I forget about the people I work with, the issues of work, all I do is check my schedule and note it and go about my business. This leads back to the question, Do I really want this position?

I think my best bet is to sit down and meditate on what I really want. You see I have too many positive qualities - reliable, hard working, integrity. Unfortunately, this is what people want in their employees and those they give responsibility to. They know that someone like me doesn't want to bow out of a fight, but is this my fight? Why must I always be a soldier in everyone's army, when I don't even like the purpose of the war? Is it too late to bow out? But why does it feel like chickening out? Then again, what more can I learn from this experience?

Yep, a lot of meditation is need. If you made it this far, thank you for reading my rant and if you have any advice, feel free to leave a comment below. I welcome all comments.

For a James Bond movie, this looks intense. I think I might watch it LMAO and PMSL I'm not expecting this to be ground breaking but I think I'll get a laugh out of it. This looks beautifully shot and Leo and Tobey look hot. At first, I was thinking I should read the book, but this looks hot. This looks like a good time at the cinema This really makes me question a lot of things I want to watch this This looks cute This warms my heart - Bill Murray in a serious a role and being fabulous

About The Talk

Fifteen-year-old Tavi Gevinson had a hard time finding strong female, teenage role models -- so she built a space where they could find each other. At TEDxTeen, she illustrates how the conversations on sites like Rookie, her wildly popular web magazine for and by teen girls, are putting a new, unapologetically uncertain and richly complex face on modern feminism.

The Talk

The above came from ffffound.com, you can also see more random pics that caught my attention on my Tumblr blog - Lulu Approved.

OMG This looks intense, I wanna watch this LMAO

I feel like I've been doing everyone a disservice when it comes to this and my other blog. The reality is my life has taken such a turn that it's hard to keep up with my blogs. Between a new job, limited internet and embarking on a new personal project, it's been both enlightening and frustrating.

Enlightening because for once in my life, I'm getting it. It being understanding everything. Oh God, I'm sounding new age-y again. For once I can see things clearly now and it has shifted my perception on myself, the people in my life and the world. This is a good thing and it's the thing that shifts my understanding from knowing the theory and what you have to do to find inner peace and happiness to actually achieving it. It's just the beginning for me though, I still have many books to read, my seminars to watch and a lot more introspection, but I will get there. As Lao Tzu said

Oh my God, this movie is scary (I did scream) and was beautifully shot. It makes me think about my life and my island where as I'm used to my environment and Christianity but I never thought of what it's like living in a similar environment but different belief systems. I loved this movie even though I hid behind my hands for a lot of parts. Definitely expand it to fill up your screen as it has great quality.

About The Talk

Is your school or workplace divided into "creatives" versus practical people? Yet surely, David Kelley suggests, creativity is not the domain of only a chosen few. Telling stories from his legendary design career and his own life, he offers ways to build the confidence to create... (From The Design Studio session at TED2012, guest-curated by Chee Pearlman and David Rockwell.)

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One of my favourite things to do is watch movies on a week day afternoon. Perhaps because on a normal day, I would be at work or when I was in college, at class, but to do something out of the ordinary is pretty nice. I am loving YouTube more and more because there are chances to watch films you would not normally see. Be it because you don't live in the States or you are living life and missed a movie. The thing is it's not even relegated to YouTube, there's NetFlicks and Hulu and a number of other sites online to get your movie on. I once asked a group what they could live without, TV, Internet, Phone or Friends and every time the answer is TV. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, TV is going to have to revisit their programming to get people back. I haven't used my TV in ages and my family has been without for a while, but they are itching for it, lol. The thing is the internet is taking up the slack where TV is leaving off. Anyway, here is a movie I found, it is in the tradition of made for TV where it's wholesome, American with a message or two. Some may find it cheesy, but I have a fondness for cheese. Be on the look out for more movies on Kimolisa Was Here. XOXO

I can tell you now that my mom would be nodding with this talk.

About the Talk

As we expect more from technology, do we expect less from each other? Sherry Turkle studies how our devices and online personas are redefining human connection and communication -- and asks us to think deeply about the new kinds of connection we want to have.

Sherry Turkle studies how technology is shaping our modern relationships: with others, with ourselves, with it.

The Talk

This looks so interesting, I hope this opens people to the idea of families coming together for genuine conversation.


 Le sigh


 I'm getting goosebumps thinking about this movie

I tried so hard to resist this, but it has Emma Stone (why u no redhead no more?) and Dennis Leary. Also the plot is pulling me in.

I loved the first one, so this one better be good. lol

This so cute and artsy, definitely a film to look for

I would not say this is a style I normally like, but I'm drawn to this room.

I love a rustic feel, as well as hardwood floors.

I discovered Stylelikeu and I am blown away by the interesting people feature. One of them is Wandie Kabule. Let's just say that thanks to the internet us artsy folk don't feel so alone.
Wandie Kabule Closet Interview with StyleLikeU from StyleLikeU on Vimeo. Check out her blog, Wandieing.

It takes a strong straight man to play a drag queen, so nuff respect to these actors. Here's a movie for your Friday

About The Talk

Filmmaker Andrew Stanton ("Toy Story," "WALL-E") shares what he knows about storytelling -- starting at the end and working back to the beginning. (Contains graphic language ...)

The Talk

I used to watch a lot of comediennes growing up and I forgot how good it feel to have a good laugh. Times are tough, baby, but it's so good to forget all of that and have a good laugh. Eddieeeeee Richard Pryor Dave Chappelle Katt Williams Chris Rock Redd Foxx John Leguizamo

This looks endearing This looks intense I love Spurlock's work so this should be interesting I will watch this on the big screen Why do I feel like a moth to a flame with this movie Two words: Gary Oldman I love smart comedies