I've been a fan of Etsy for a while now and I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you compile a list of Caribbean Etsy stores?" I replied " I think I will just do that." Below is the banner and a little info about the stores I've found so far. If you know of any other stores, leave a comment below with a link.

Wildflower Studio - Trinidad & Tobago - original artwork, books, bookmarks, keychains, etc

zhevni - Trinidad & Tobago - jewelry and "vintage ephemera"

PrettyPlanner - Trinidad & Tobago - Planner, Calenders and more

Iguana4art - Trinidad & Tobago - jewelry

NishKollection - Jamaica - women's clothing

Wild/Free Swimwear - Jamaica - swimwear

GetJulued - St. Kitts & Nevis - jewelry

CrystalForms - Barbados -jewelry

Ellad2 - Grenada - Jewelry Tutorials

MamaBois - Grenada - Jewelry

It was some years back when I had entered my sexual prime, imagine Samantha with a growing collection of Zane novels. My brother turned to me and said "Whatever you do, don't get dick-whipped." I can't remember the exact date or the context but I remember the warning against being "dick-whipped".

Back then I figured out that the term was equivalent to being "pussy-whipped". Now, according to Wiktionary,

pussy-whipped adj.
(vulgar slang)
Submissive to or dominated by one's wife or other female partner, frequently with the connotation that this submissive behaviour is for the prospect of sex.

And according to Urban Dictionary,

pussy-whipped adj.

Making decisions based on the incentive of sex.

Thankfully, I have never experienced dick-whippage. I guess because I protected my heart with maximum security protection. Sure, I've had my fair share of "Damn! That was great, let's go again!" but never, "I will birth your babies and club a baby seal for you, master." But what happens when you come across someone who sneaked through your defenses like Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage?

What happens when the good, good is like Dynomite! and you start spouting pop culture references from multiple decades? Does that mean I'm dick-whipped? Should I be looking out for halos? What actually happened? I made him breakfast.

He wasn't expecting breakfast, but I made it. And not the slap, bam, here you go variety, I'm talking about me hip checking Rachel Ray to the side. I made scramble eggs with Cajun seasoning and grated cheese on top. I sliced a loaf of bread AND toasted it, and added a mini orange in the mix.

If I trusted the tomatoes I had, I would have sliced them up and if I had olive oil and vinegar, I would have mixed them together and drizzle them over the tomatoes. Don't get me started on what I would have done if I had potatoes and bacon.

I won't lie to you, I do enjoy cooking, more for the process but this was new to me. To want to give food to someone, that nurturing element, that is new. I don't think it freaks me out, but I would like to explore it.

This might be a genetic throw back to some bygone era where a woman desires to nurture and take care of a man. And where he desires to protect and do handy man things for the woman. Two parts working in tandem.

Whatever the case is, I didn't hate it so it can't be all bad. That reminds me of when Destiny's Child came out with "Cater 2 U". I remember a British music reporter pointing out that it was a departure from the independent/survivor Destiny's Child that we all knew at the time. Then again, Beyonce had just hooked up with Jigga and some of that connection bled into her music.

At the end of the day, there are certain things we would only do for that special person. Sometimes, you don't even know you are doing them. Sometimes, you don't say that you care for a person, but you most certainly show it.

What are some of the things you do only for that special person in you life/ who was in your life?
What have others done for you to show that they cared?

About The Blogger

When I think back to my time in New York, I remember the bitter and the sweet. There were times when I loved the city, those moments when my expectations were met or exceeded. Then there were times when I was lost in the mundane, when each day melted into the next and they all melted into this blob of time.

This series of posts are about remembering the great times and finding the lesson in the not so great times. The thing is I still love the city, I plan to return to do all the things I wanted to do and never did like taking part in an open mic at the Nuyorican or spending a day visiting galleries. Sometimes, it never seems like I ever have enough time when I'm in NYC. Hopefully, in the near future I will make time.

To start this series, I'll go back to my early months at FIT.

Every now and then, I would be asked if I ever felt lonely living alone and I always answered "no". Thinking back, I've always been accustomed to being on my own. I remember many times playing by myself. When I had surgery on my back, I had my own room in the beginning and the times I had shared a room, the patients did not stay long or I was drugged to the point where I wasn't aware of them.

There were even times when I would be alone in a crowd. By the time I reached FIT, I had developed into being a loner. In part because of low self-esteem and in part because I didn't trust that people would want to hang out with me. As this was the case, I did a lot of things alone.

The first time I went to the movies in NYC as a college student, I went to a theater close to Time Square. I went to see the Sixth Sense (still one of my favourite movies). While in line, I saw a guy who had gone on the same freshman orientation field trips as me. We acknowledged each other and made small talk. He was ahead of me and soon it was time for him to go to the ticket counter.

Behind me, an older woman had overheard us talking, and in a lowered voice asked why I didn't go to watch the same move he was going to watch. I shrugged the question off, saying there was nothing between us and I wanted to see the Sixth Sense.

This reminds me of the quote by Carter G. Woodson that read

“If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions. If you can determine what a man thinks you do not have worry about what he will do. If you can make a man believe that he is inferior, you don’t have to compel him to seek an inferior status, he will do so without being told and if you can make a man believe that he is justly an outcast, you don’t have to order him to the back door, he will go to the back door on his own and if there is no back door, the very nature of the man will demand that you build one.”

I had grown so accustomed to being alone that even when I was given the opportunity to connect with someone else, I turned my back on it.

Afterwards, there were many things I did on my lonesome, visit flea markets, troll through Chelsea art galleries, go to movies, walk aimlessly, watching Gotham melt from Gothic, industrial architecture into shiny skyscrapers that blinded you with their reflections of the sun and chilled you with the wind tunnels they created.

I loved traveling by subway, disappearing into the depths of the city and emerging into somewhere so different from where you just came from. Sometimes, to truly enjoy the city you have to be alone because you aren't distracted by another person and you are aware of everything.

Fortunately, I did hang out with others. I learned to say yes when asked to do things with friends from back home and friends I met at FIT. The first time I left campus to go to a birthday party of a classmate is still a sweet memory.

Alice was her name and she dressed like a club kid with coloured hair and funky, interesting clothes and a heart of gold. The party was in a bar in midtown and it was fun. It wasn't a big group of people but they were genuine and inviting unlike a lot of people at FIT. I went home with a happy buzz, sure, I stank of cigarette smoke and I had to chuck the green, pleather trench coat I bought at a flea market, but it was worth it.

I had since grown to accept that I need both the alone time and the hanging out with friends time. Both make life that much sweeter. I'm still not good at inviting people out, I still have that fear that they will not show up, leaving me waiting. It's definitely something I'll be working on.

You never know, I might be asking people to go with me to the Sex Museum or check out a dungeon the next time I'm in NYC..... Just kidding (or am I?) But most definitely, I'll be going to a Cosplay convention if anyone is game.

For the sum of four years, on and off, NYC had been my home and with a population of 1 million +, it is still possible for someone to feel lonely. Fortunately, it was a state I was used to, so it didn't bother me. Unfortunately, because I didn't see the need to connect, I didn't take advantage of the opportunities where others were trying to connect with me.

From the yuppy guy in the Kinkos to the Arabic guy who hit on me as I waited for the Q train, they were missed opportunities to see the city from their perspective.

Hot damn! If I continue writing, I'll sell myself on New York again. To those who live in NYC, I know it is so easy to remain in your little box of where you live, your commute and work, but every now and then, step out. Go up to Washington Heights, check out the Dominican vibes, Brooklyn is calling all who want to be inspired. Go to a bar that would normally intimidate you.

To those who have never visited New York City, do it once but don't get stuck in the tourist stuff. Eat, there are restaurants serving every type of cuisine. Check out the Off Broadway plays, some are pretty good. And get lost, you might end up finding something interesting you didn't know existed.

That's it for me folks, return to this Xcentric blog at this Xcentric time of the month for more Memories of Gotham.